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Want of cry

A comedian once joked that crying is like diarrhoea for the heart. It is messy and bad, but you feel light afterwards. That not being able to cry is like constipation; you are continuously troubled, and until you are all cleared up, there is constant unease and you can't find resolve or peace with anything.

It is a crappy reference, but it's quite true.

The thing is, crying is so hard sometimes. What if you can't cry? What if you try and try and that outburst, that uncontrolled hiccup-y, simultaneous stream of tears through eyes and nose, never comes? What if those controlled, silent tears on your pillow night after night have made it extremely difficult for you to cry. What if you don't feel comfortable crying in front of anyone and you have to think about when and where to try and cry your heart out.

So you don't cry. You are a strong person after all, with a smile on your face and calm in your voice.

But you are changed too.

You make jokes like before, but with…

Rules of Promises

The first rule of promises is, 'You keep your promise!'

The second rule of promises is, 'You keep your promise!'

There is no third rule

Change

Sometimes, you want to scream so bad that your throat would beg you to stop. But you want to scream; you know you'll end up hurting yourself; but you want that hurt; if it will cause a permanent damage, you want to make that happen. That's what you deserve. That's what you want. That's what will make you satisfied. You try to reach out to someone, but that someone's not there anymore. A change has occurred. The connection has been broken now. The string that crossed dimensions and continents once, lays but hanging loose, fragile.
Your heart aches, it literally aches with an undeniable physical pinch. An elephant stays in the room when you converse. There are so many things you wanna talk about, so many things you wanna know. But no you can't. The care is still there; the worry, the concern and the unease due to your suffering, they all exist; but something invisible has changed. A hurry has set in, there is just not time anymore. Every meeting feels like meet…

An unusual work day

'Come on boy, come down now. It’s time to go. We are getting late!!', Ram hollered at the tree without a pause and walked towards and through the clearing.
Manu looked at him going out and started climbing down the tree. He didn’t like being left behind and Ram's going to the clearing meant the longer he took getting down from that tree, the longer the distance he'll have to cover to catch up with him; and that man walked fast.
So he climbed down fast and ran after him. 
It was his favourite pass time, Manu’s. Sitting on that heavy branch, halfway up the tall Peepal tree, and watching the sunshine break way and glimmer over and through the spaces between the rooftops and treetops early in the morning was the best moment of most of his days. He got up early, climbed that single, old, tall tree and sat there each morning till he heard Ram call him out to go for breakfast and start work day.
Breakfast meant a steel bowl of milk and a small pack of glucose biscuits for Manu. O…

Changing Norms

Watching PM Modi on TV boast about the historical feat he has achieved with demonisation had me feeling déjà vu yesterday.
Of course the first reaction was a half smirk-laugh that maybe we have reserved only for the most repulsive moments; moments which disgust you to a certain level of discomfort when you wish you could wash and clean your mind somehow the way you do your body. But what followed that was déjà vu.
If you watch late night American talk shows like me, or in this case, if you watch news at all, you would've seen a certain Trump conference where he boasts about the how good the Muslim Ban1 has been implemented and how everything is going so smooth at the airports. And because I had seen that clip so many times on so many shows, you can guess how I felt watching that part of PM Modi's speech on TV.
The more you see of these two lately, the more it looks like they are picking ideas and habits from each other. People outside of India even call PM Modi the Trump of I…

The unseen voice I follow

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People often associate reverence, piety and closeness to God with a certain wisdom (or knowledge) in the sense that one realises the frivolity of worldly affairs and life and ascends to deeper knowledge of conscience. As one moving out to the mountains and removing oneself from capital and carnal desires.

One is wise, people of faith say, if he listens to the reasons of God and not that of the people.

Let me try and paint a scene for you in relation to this.

Suppose, that you find yourself in a strange, dreamy sort of a place/space; a sort of square with people standing about. You don't know any of the people there even though there are a lot of them. You obviously want to know where you are and how you could go out and back to your home from there. People approach you and you tell them what is it that you want and all of them try to show and tell you the way you should take, very opinionatedly. You get confused and get more worried than before, knowing not who to listen to and w…

Roses are red...

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Roses are red The sky is blue
But 
Isn't it true, that skies turn red too
And boy, I tell you I once saw a rose blue
And swear I, such was its hue that left me amazed, the closer i grew
And I must tell you of the red sky I knew (it) looked like a satin in the sky someone sewed
Wonder fills one's eyes to see it, I'll give you this cue, no other colour makes it more beautiful, that much is true.