Knights Of Micro Fiction : Her eyes shot open..

KOMF is a prompt hosted by Kathy and Jessica to meet new people and help build a blogosphere. The bloghop is hosted on 15th of every month. This post is in response to one of their prompts, which is:


"Write a 200 word or less flash fiction beginning with this phrase: Her eyes shot open..

You are free to change the gender and POV if you'd like."




Her eyes shot open and she flinched with pain. She gasped for air as the decimating realization of it struck her. The tempest has passed but left the bazaar devastated.

Her left hand was trapped by a heavy signboard and some pointed thing had shot through her palm. It was unbearable and the agony was throbbing through her nerves.She tried but couldn't move the board an inch.
   
     "Could somebody help me!", she cried. "Help! Could some..", a man rushing through stopped and came to her.
     "Is your leg hurt too", he asked, looking, analyzing her.
     "No, but something has gone through my palm", she said.
     "Okay, stay still.",  he said.

It took all his power to move the signboard and Emily winced with pain as the needle came out, blood soaked. He took out his handkerchief, and wrapped it around her palm.

     "Are you going to be all-right?", he asked.
     "Yeah, thanks a lot."
     "Okay, keep that tight.", he said as he hurried on. Clamoring crowd could be heard in the distance.

It was then that she remembered, her three year old daughter was missing!



P.S: I hope its not too late, and my entry is considered. It was fun writing this, by the way. :)

Comments

  1. OUCH! I would not want to wake up with that in my hand!

    Nicely done and thanks for participating!

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    1. Me neither. :P
      Thanks for bringing out such amazing prompt. And thanks for the comment. :)

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  2. Interesting story Usama! I didn't even think to use dialogue! Great attempt and I'm so glad you participated! :D
    That last line was a 'wrench in the gut' :P

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    1. Thank you Miss. I used dialogues, but the story now appears missing something. Anyways, it was fun writing this. :)

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  3. Interesting! Creative of you to handle it this way Usama. :)

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    1. Thanks Leo. So nice of you to say that. :)

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  4. Ooo, two good fears there. What would consume me more? The missing daughter, I think. That would be bad enough if there hadn't been a crowd.

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    1. Yeah, that was actually unplanned. I am thinking how the story could turn out with the missing daughter now.
      Thanks a lot for your comment. :)

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  5. A great attempt at the prompt Usama.. :)
    I think you are really getting better and better at fiction ..
    Keep it up :)

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    1. Thanks always Saloni. Your comments boost me to attempt better. :)

      By the way, I am waiting for some fiction from you. It would be worth 5 my posts, I suppose. ;)

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    2. haha.. uhh.. I doubt :P
      I have never attempted fiction. But now, I guess I should ;)

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  6. Good take on the prompt. I like the twist at the end which introduces another dimension when you think the immediate problem is solved - like you say, this could lead us into another story. Nice to meet you!

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    1. Thank you for appreciating Nick. I felt something was amiss without that 'twist'. ;)
      It was nice to meet you too!

      Delete

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