Blog 'Weak' : Of Friends and Best Friends


Let me tell you my story in relation to friends.

When I was 7 perhaps, I was admitted to a new school, in 2nd standard. There, among other things, which included marvelling at the size of the building and playground and discovering that I could buy an amazing hot samosa and a hotter bread-pakoda, both in all of ₹5, happened something quite remarkable. I learned a new term, Best Friends.

I didn't know exactly what kind of friends were called best friends, but from what I did get, I was pretty much enchanted by the idea. That day, I saw a boy tell another how his best friend from the class was on a vacation abroad and was going to bring him a gift from there. Later that day, I saw two boys, whom somebody maybe referred as the best friends, walking around during recess or maybe after the school ended, hands on each other's shoulders, chatting excitedly, like they were having the best time in the world. So, I assumed that perhaps best friends are those who bring you gifts from their faraway excursion trips and who roam around with you (and just you, mind it) everywhere, all the time. 

I thought about it coming home, trying to figure out who was my best friend. I too had friends yes, a lot, whom I played with after school. But was any of them my best friend? I wasn't sure. Probably not. But then, it was one of the hundred new things I found exciting each day. We all did at that age I guess. So till the time came for me to go play, I had moved on to other exciting stuff, like how to bat that day and not get out in the first over itself. The thought got pushed to the back of my mind.

:-)

Later, few years down the line, the thought came back again after a fight in a cricket match I was playing with friends and while I was sitting furious in my home, scowling at the cheating the boys were doing. Then, I sat there and thought, rather wished to have a best friend too, who would always take my side no matter what. But then again, the thoughts were short lived.

But some things remain, infrequent, buried deep in your unconscious. When I was seventeen or eighteen maybe, an incident happened which made me realise how much a sucker for a best friend I really was. Then(that day), a friend whom I thought of as my best friend, a term still misunderstood in my naivety, shared something with me. He then went on to tell me that only his other friend 'A', with whom he is most comfortable and close, knows what he had just shared with me. I thought about what he had just said for long. Maybe because it was something I feared myself.

It wasn't gay, I am sure of that, but I was extremely jealous of 'A'. He stole my best friend and I was pretty mad, at both of them. At my friend, because he failed to see that 'he' was the one I considered my closest friend and 'he' should have done the same. When he said that thing about sharing his personal stuff with 'A', he wasn't saying that I am not as good a friend as 'A', but it broke my heart nonetheless. Very naively again, I thought of distancing myself from my friend of around 11 years. I did not see that he actually considered me as one of his best friends and confidants. I was obsessive and wanted him to treat me as 'the' closest friend he had. The best friend.

Of course, I did not distance myself from him. He still is one of my closest friends. We are just the same even if we meet after months. We understand each other without having to use words and I have accepted and am cool about the fact that A is indeed his closest friend, still. But it took me a long time to get it in my mind, the concept of friendship and best friends. For a long time after that incident, longer than you'd believe, I had been, on a subconscious level, in a continuous search of a person who would be that best friend I always wanted. A person who not only I could trust with my thoughts and secrets, but someone who would feel the same for me as well. And as it happened for a long time, I could not bring myself to find a person as good or understanding as that one I nearly dreamed of.

But all this has changed in the past two years. I feel that 'I' am changed at the very root, at the way I think now. Maybe it's just maturity dawning a little late, but I think I now understand friendship a lot better. I've met some very good people in these past two years and some of them have made a significant impact on me. Of these people is one friend because of whom, I have changed the most, and all for the good. A friend who has helped me, knowingly or unknowingly, understand what friendship is. I won't be talking more about that friend in this post, but I must say that my attitude changed when I was blessed with the friendship of that person.

I always was very possessive and looked for in a person that faithfulness which would be there just for me, just as I would have that faithfulness. That was my idea of best friends. But I came to understand that no such thing exists. I came to know that it is never 'the' best friend, it is always 'one' of the best friends. And how good or close the other person considers you should be just left to him/her. I came to understand that being truly (and not just for the sake of expression) one of the best friends, is a blessing no less. You can't be friends with just one person in this world. I came to know that different people hold different places, which can be equally close, in a person's heart.

I have come to understand that friendship is not about having someone just for yourself, but sharing. It is truly the best example of happiness in sharing. And if you are like me, it would still pinch your heart if someone else gets very close to your best friend, yes it pinches like hell. But then, you have to have that trust in your friend that no matter who comes and who goes, that special place in his/her heart is always going to be reserved for you. And that's what makes you feel happy, really happy from inside. And I've understood that when you find that person, whom you are more confident about than anybody else in this whole wide world of friends, then that is when you have the true best friend.

Oh and yes, that one person I talked about above, is my best friend. My search has ended.



P.S: This post was part of the diet my blog is getting this whole week due to it's unbearable weakness and escessive drama.

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Image - Google

Comments

  1. Is this the most amazingly heart-melting post in the Universe or what? :D

    No, as much as I love exaggerating, I'm not doing it right now. You know I always love writings that make me think, make me emotional and happy? This post is a perfect example of that. One, those last few paragraphs! <3 All those learnings! ^_^
    "different people hold different places, which can be equally close, in a person's heart."
    "I have come to understand that friendship is not about having someone just for yourself, but sharing"
    ^ these two, best observations ever. ^_^

    I so loved reading about your changing perceptions, thoughts, confusion relating to friends. I am still confused (except in some cases ;) ), about my past friends especially. But maybe that's because I've never thought about it closely. The way your thoughts went in this post, from being a kid to an intelligent, mature, smart (Just Kidding :P ) adult, it gave such a nice, free flow to it that it totally had me engrossed into it. Jeez. I always love what you write. Make this a blogyear or something, please? ;) I could get an award for being the happiest person ever, and alright, I'd share it with you too. Just a little bit. :P

    I'm only too happy to know your search has ended. May this best friend always make you happy, and loved. I'm sure the person feels that way too. ;) And they never want to let you go.

    Yes, it does take a lot of effort to not have expectations, to have someone you want to have "just" for you, being shared. But you know, like you said, that is happiness in itself. :) They'd feel the same about you too, but they'd know you'll always love them as much and that is because they trust you. They're not insecure. What more would mean more than the fact that someone trusts you? :D

    I'll stop the serious-ness now. Awesome post dude! :D Let's have samosas and hot hot hottt bread pakodas the next time we catch up! ;)

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    1. Oh PS- I got to know how you were as a kid :P Imagine you as a 7 year old, a 10 year old, crying because of cheating :P (Sympathies with the tiny you, though :P )

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    2. This comment made me more happy than anything today Ashna. I am just so happy that I don't know what else to say ^_^ I pray all that wished for here comes true and all that is, stays that way.

      And yeah, there is no such thing as important and self-sufficient as trust. It is the core of any relationship. Any. :)

      Yes, let's have bread pakodas where I want them, made by that special chef ;)

      P.S: I did not cry by the way, I just sat in my home furious and red faced with anger :P

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  2. Best friends are hard to find and sometimes it is hard to define a best friend.
    But, the only bad thing I felt after reading this cute post is going through this gut-wrenching craving for samosa and bread pakoda... and it is harder to find that than finding God, here in California.

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    1. Hey Dhara, welcome! Yes, it definitely is hard to find and define a best friend, I've just made an attempt. And ohh, that is bad. Let's hope God, after reading this post, does something about this situation.
      Thanks for stopping by Dhara, hope to see you again :)

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  3. Waah..!! That was awesome.. Finding, a best friend who stands with you, no matter what, is the most ultimate thing, a person can find..!! The way you expressed yourself in this post was marvelous, as a 10 yr old buy, crying because, the other boys cheated in the game, was just too awesome & I can imagine you sitting & crying.. :P

    The post, touched my heart..!! Super Awesome..!! :) <3

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    1. Yes Aayush, it is really the most heavenly feeling, to always have someone you can depend on blindly. I hope and pray for everybody to have that special close friend.

      It would sound narcissist, but I feel like reading my own post again now :)

      Thank you for this man. Really glad you liked it. :D

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  4. I love the posts, the books, the scenes which I can relate ton which contain a part of me, which describe 'me' in some way. Your post made me feel like I was reading about me. I won't go on and on how much this post was 'priya's' because that I do often and bore you guys, but the post touched me. I am tempted to say that I would like to have a big chat someday on some feelings you described but I won't. Some feelings aren't discussed, they are just understood over time. But it feels great to realise that someone out there, at some point of his life, felt just the way you did at some point of your life.
    Blogging is awesome!

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    1. And, the write-up was awesome. The way you let your feelings flow throughout it and yet made your point across without getting distracted is what I like most.
      <3 these lines "But I came to understand that no such thing exists. I came to know that it is never 'the' best friend, it is always 'one' of the best friends. And how good or close the other person considers you should be just left to him/her. I came to understand that being truly (and not just for the sake of expression) one of the best friends, is a blessing no less."

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    2. Priyaa, this comment made me so happy, inwardly, that it would only truly show on my face. I can't express it in words ^_^

      First, I am so glad to see that you could connect to this post. I understand how it is so different for you when you feel like you are such a sucker for sharing and a person to share with and when you don't have that person. The feelings of uncertainty about friendships are something almost all of us go through but it is I suppose, a little more with some people than other.

      Yes, the feelings are something you understand automatically over time and when it is the right time for you but even then, we could totally talk, share our tell each other about our experiences sometime ;)

      Thank you so much for this absolutely heart felt comment. God indeed bless us both ;) Hugs!!

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