Showing posts from June, 2017

Want of cry

A comedian once joked that crying is like diarrhoea for the heart. It is messy and bad, but you feel light afterwards. That not being able to cry is like constipation; you are continuously troubled, and until you are all cleared up, there is constant unease and you can't find resolve or peace with anything.

It is a crappy reference, but it's quite true.

The thing is, crying is so hard sometimes. What if you can't cry? What if you try and try and that outburst, that uncontrolled hiccup-y, simultaneous stream of tears through eyes and nose, never comes? What if those controlled, silent tears on your pillow night after night have made it extremely difficult for you to cry. What if you don't feel comfortable crying in front of anyone and you have to think about when and where to try and cry your heart out.

So you don't cry. You are a strong person after all, with a smile on your face and calm in your voice.

But you are changed too.

You make jokes like before, but with…

Rules of Promises

The first rule of promises is, 'You keep your promise!'

The second rule of promises is, 'You keep your promise!'

There is no third rule

Sleepless nights

It has been more than two months almost. I am still grappling with the fact that I can't sleep. It is 5 in the morning here and I slept for maybe an hour in between.The restlessness that you get when you have to catch a flight/train very early in the morning and you have maybe an hour or a half to rest when you are in fact very sleepy after a long day but still can't obviously afford to fall asleep in case you miss it, is permanent in my case.I need the sleep, but I can't have it. And God only can help for I don't know where to go to find peace and solace.